Am I dreaming ? Will I wake from this nightmare ?
Things are not as we had planned or prayed for.......
Day two of knowing this baby girl we have "longed for" will not come home with this. Day two of seeing her empty bassinet. Day two of looking at her laundered pink clothes hanging in the closet. Day two of being so concerned about her spiritual/physical safety that I am physically sick. Day two of remembering the promises made to us and the legal contracts binding us to this baby. Day two of my 6 year old clutching her "baby sister's" stuffed lamb ( she won't let it leave her side). Day two of trusting God with my heart. Day two of having moments of weakness where I feel...."why God would you allow this to happen to us 3 times", "why God can I just not have another baby like so many others". Day two of my messy house because I'm spending so much time on the telephone with our lawyer. Day two of having a peace that passing understanding despite my unanswered questions.
Praying Day two holds a MIRACLE for us and our Elise !!!
I love you so much and I am sorry that you are in this trial. Trusting God's sovereignty is sometimes a VERY DIFFICULT thing to do when we having been hoping, dreaming and praying for something different. Remember when we can't see His hand, we can always trust His heart.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing! You will forget! and someday...you'll want to remember.
Praising God for sustaining peace!