Seems So Long Ago

It seems like it has been more than just a month since our lives changed forever. It seems so long ago......

It seems so long ago that I heard my daughter's heartbeat.
It seems so long ago that I saw her yawn during an ultrasound.
It seems so long ago that I packed her coming home outfit in her diaper bag.
It seems so long ago that I have heard my phone beep alerting me I had another text from our birth mother.
It seems so long ago that my heart would skip a beat when I heard our lawyer's voice.....now her voice only makes my heart remember the joy that once abounded there.
It seems so long ago that I heard those empty promises that she would NEVER go back on her word and keep our baby.
It seems so long ago that I have seen the woman who I grew to love with all my heart.
It seems so long ago that we sat in a hospital waiting room for 2 hours expecting birth mom's arrival at the hospital. Pleading and praying to God that she would arrive for delivery and that she hadn't changed her mind.
It seems so long ago that I heard our lawyer tell Mike, " Leave the hospital now....she doesn't want you there. She says she hasn't changed her mind about placing baby with you but she wants you away from her tonight. Wait to hear from me regarding when to come pick up your baby from the hospital."

One month has gone by in our lives but one month seems so long ago.......

Only God

We received a call from our lawyer yesterday with some very unexpected news. Our birth mother had contacted our lawyer expressing that she wants to pay us back our money and she requested our forgiveness. This birth mother is extremely poor, how she would be able to pay us back is not known. Our biggest surprise was that she wants our forgiveness. I right away didn't know if I could forgive her.

Mike and I wrote her a letter yesterday and expressed how much this has hurt us. We mailed it yesterday.

I awoke this morning with alot on my mind and praying alot. God has performed a miracle in Brooke Wesley this morning. I have FORGIVEN our birth mother. Whole heartedly forgiven her !!! I have such a love for her again. This makes NO sense and from the world's view is ridiculous. I cannot explain what exactly changed my heart....only the moving of the Holy Spirit. God lead me to Matthew 5:43-48 this morning. It shook my world !! I am aching for her salvation. I have such a concern for her soul today.

I wanted to thank everyone for their many prayers the last few months. They have been heard !!
I do ask that everyone would continue to pray for our birth mother. PLEASE pray for her salvation. We ask for God to break her spirit. Please continue to pray for our Elise, that God's will be done in her little life.