I mentioned in my blog yesterday, that our lives changed because of an email I received.
It was Wednesday, March 23. The day was going like any other day for us. I decided to take a breather and get on Facebook for a few minutes while the kids were watching a video.
I'm a mega nerd and always get excited when I see that I have a new message, LOL
So, when I saw that I did in fact have a new message in my inbox, I went to check that first before looking at status updates. Boy, am I glad I wasted NO time in reading this particular FB message !
In this email a sweet friend of mine mentioned that she knew of a lawyer who was looking for a family to adopt an unborn baby girl. This lawyer asked my friend if she knew of ANYONE who would be interested in this baby. My friend said that she immediately thought of Mike and I and gave the lawyer our names. The lawyer wanted to know if she could talk with Mike and I asap, for she was in desperate need of finding this baby a home. Of course, when I read through the email my heart skipped a beat and I was already imagining if this could "be it". Now, to approach my husband who was in the midst of college mid terms :)
Mike's first question when I told him about this baby girl was, " how much will it cost "....haha
I explained as much as I knew, about the situation, to him and pleaded with him to at least allow the lawyer to contact us and for us to get more details. OKAY !!! So, I quickly emailed my friend back and told her that yes, the lawyer could contact us. Mike and I immediately began to pray that God would guide our steps, give us insight and allow His will to be done ( despite how badly we wanted this to be the moment we were waiting for ) Within about 30 minutes, I received the call from the lawyer. She was working with a birthmother since January and had been unable to find a family for this birth mom. She told me a few other details about the case ( which I cannot share ) and then told me that I could call the birth mother to get a "feel for her". WOW !!!! I ran outside to tell Mike everything the lawyer had said to me. I asked if he was alright with me contacting this birth mother. We again prayed together ( as we had both been separately praying since we received the email ) Mike told me to go ahead and call the mom. I spoke with her about 15 minutes and asked her several important questions about her adoption plan. I remember telling her that I hoped we would talk again soon.....she agreed with me that she hoped we would talk again. Once again, I RAN outside to tell Mike everything we said to one another. Mike proceeds to tell me that he thinks everything sounds good and that incredibly, he was getting this overwhelming peace already ! We decided that a second call to the lawyer was warranted. You can imagine how excited this lawyer was to receive my call that yes, we had a peace about this. She wanted me to immediately call a colleague of hers ( who does home studies ) to set a time we could meet with him. Mike and I decided that we would spend the night in deep prayer and that if our peace remained, that the following morning I would call this man to begin our home study.
You can imagine, I did NOT sleep that night !!!!
When Mike came home from work the next morning, I ask him how he feels. Anyone who knows my husband, knows he LOVES to joke around. He replied to me, "how do I feel about WHAT " . Seriously Mike ?!!!! After getting me a little tense ( me thinking he is truly unaware of what I'm talking about ), Mike tells me that nothing has changed except that he feels even stronger peace from the Lord.
We decide to not only call the man to begin our home study but to check in with the lawyer, making sure she knows we are 100% on board with this adoption. She informs me that she had received a phone call that morning from a prospective adoptive couple who wanted this baby girl. Now, remember the lawyer had been working with this birth mother since January and had NO luck finding a family. The lawyers words to me over the phone were, " well you guys got in just in time for this baby. It's amazing when the stars just line up right ".
I shared with her how in fact, God was the Author of us being the ones who would be this baby's forever family !!!
I just assumed that our lawyer would call the birth mother back letting her know that we were going to proceed with this adoption. Well, our lawyer had gotten sick since I had last spoken with her and had NOT informed the birth mother. I got to make that call !!! I will never forget the sound of birth momma's sigh of relief when I told her we were the ones !
She mentioned to me that day, that at the beginning of the following week she had an ultrasound on the baby and was asking me to come with her. I thought that would be the day I met my daughter's birth mother for the first time but once again, God was gonna surprise us !!
I will share tomorrow on our first meeting with this precious birth mother....
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Our heartaches turned into Joy
Well, I told you things were about to get AMAZING. Okay, I'm gonna have to take you on rewind button to understand just how amazing this story is.
The year 2010 was a CrAzY one for us. Not only we were trying for another baby but Mike was also in his last semester at FSCJ AND we were living with my MIL as she was recovering from major surgery. The deep meaning behind our adoption story really has SO much to do with my MIL, Elsie. She had been battling cancer off and on since 2003. In 2009 her cancer came back after remission and the cancer transformed from colon cancer to bone cancer. The cancer had decided to attack her hip bone and pelvic region. Surgery was scheduled for March 2010 in hopes to remove all the cancer from her hip bone and aim to give her a hip replacement. Mom Elsie did great through her surgery ( although she did NOT get a hip replacement ) and rehab and Mike and I decided to move in with her since she would need around the clock care to fully recover. She was healing beautifully and was beginning to walk without her walker even. After a week or so of beginning to regain small independence, Mom fell and broke her pelvis. Her healing stopped at this point !
She was in severe pain and got an infection from being bedridden. Mom spent many weeks in the hospital and then rehab. Mike and I had remained at Mom's house to keep things ready for her to come home once again. She was told that her ability to walk again ( even with her walker ) was very slim. Mom remained bound to her wheelchair the rest of her days on earth :(
In October 2010, Mike took Mom to one of her check ups and they received the news that Mom's cancer was BACK. Doctors thought they had gotten the entire tumor in March but whether it was all removed or not, the cancer had returned......and so quickly. Mom discussed her options about treatment yet was also told that this was the kind of cancer that would continue to return. Mom prayed and felt peace that God wanted her to enjoy her family for whatever time she had left. That was a very hard time to see Mom remain in such extreme pain, to be wheelchair bound and to begin showing the signs of her cancer returning.
We look back and realize just how fast Mom's situation was deteriorating !! By Thanksgiving the cancer had created a sore on her hip. There was talk about amputation of her leg/thigh in hopes of removing the cancer. Turned out, Mom was not a candidate for amputation because of her immune system. Mom made the decision for Hospice to begin in home care for her.
By January, Mom was unable to dress herself, use the bathroom without assistance and was spending her days in uncontrolled/SEVERE pain. The "sore" on her hip was getting larger by the days and had become infected.
February 2011, Mom was admitted to in hospital, Hospice care. Mike and I were losing Mom. Mom remained a sweet spirited lady for the 2 1/2 weeks she was in the Morris Center. On a Saturday evening ( February 19th ) Mom was forever HEALED from the grip of cancer. She went Home to her Loving, Gracious FATHER .
Now, during all this Mike and I were insanely still trying to have another baby. We decided in December 2010 that God was laying on our hearts the gift of adoption. After much prayer, we contacted an agency to pursue adoption. I was also seeking medical advice on why I was unable to conceive. When the New Year came, I met with my OB only to be told that I was pre diabetic. WOW !!! I was scared into changing my eating habits and fast. I had seen how precious life is through our experience with Mom and I was too young to be having health issues. Now, I am NOT one who can easily lose weight or stick with a weight loss plan. God gave me an overwhelming strength and in 2 months, He allowed me to lose 20 lbs reversing my diagnosis of being pre diabetic. Good news on my health !!
When Mom died, she left Mike and I with a gift. One we did not know was coming nor we would have ever believed it. I wonder did she receive a peace from God as she arranged this gift to us ? I can see her smiling and being so happy for us through her loving gift. Words will never express our gratitude for her being sensitive to the Spirit's leading through what she left for us !
Okay, you have a background now on how extreme our lives had been and now you can understand all the significance in our adoption story.
Mike and I had made plans months before Mom's health began failing, that we would spend spring break in Tennessee with my parents. We would stay for one week. The kids and I were going to remain in Tennessee and visit with my family longer and Mike would return to Jacksonville. He was planning on spending lots of one on one time with his Mom while we were away. Well, when mom died I didn't feel at peace with being away from Mike so close to our loss. I was coming back to Jacksonville also after our week in Tennessee. I needed to be with my husband. The day we would return to Jacksonville was so hard for me. I cried and wanted to remain with my parents but knew that my first priority was to my husband !! I secretly was hoping he would tell me he didn't need me and that I could stay with my parents longer.....that didn't happen and I am so thankful now that he never said those words to me. For the week we had planned for me and the kids to remain in Tennessee, was a life changing week for our family !! That life changing moment came through a simple email.
" Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails " Proverbs 19:21
I am going to hold you in suspense another day and begin on just how our lives were about to change tomorrow.
The year 2010 was a CrAzY one for us. Not only we were trying for another baby but Mike was also in his last semester at FSCJ AND we were living with my MIL as she was recovering from major surgery. The deep meaning behind our adoption story really has SO much to do with my MIL, Elsie. She had been battling cancer off and on since 2003. In 2009 her cancer came back after remission and the cancer transformed from colon cancer to bone cancer. The cancer had decided to attack her hip bone and pelvic region. Surgery was scheduled for March 2010 in hopes to remove all the cancer from her hip bone and aim to give her a hip replacement. Mom Elsie did great through her surgery ( although she did NOT get a hip replacement ) and rehab and Mike and I decided to move in with her since she would need around the clock care to fully recover. She was healing beautifully and was beginning to walk without her walker even. After a week or so of beginning to regain small independence, Mom fell and broke her pelvis. Her healing stopped at this point !
She was in severe pain and got an infection from being bedridden. Mom spent many weeks in the hospital and then rehab. Mike and I had remained at Mom's house to keep things ready for her to come home once again. She was told that her ability to walk again ( even with her walker ) was very slim. Mom remained bound to her wheelchair the rest of her days on earth :(
In October 2010, Mike took Mom to one of her check ups and they received the news that Mom's cancer was BACK. Doctors thought they had gotten the entire tumor in March but whether it was all removed or not, the cancer had returned......and so quickly. Mom discussed her options about treatment yet was also told that this was the kind of cancer that would continue to return. Mom prayed and felt peace that God wanted her to enjoy her family for whatever time she had left. That was a very hard time to see Mom remain in such extreme pain, to be wheelchair bound and to begin showing the signs of her cancer returning.
We look back and realize just how fast Mom's situation was deteriorating !! By Thanksgiving the cancer had created a sore on her hip. There was talk about amputation of her leg/thigh in hopes of removing the cancer. Turned out, Mom was not a candidate for amputation because of her immune system. Mom made the decision for Hospice to begin in home care for her.
By January, Mom was unable to dress herself, use the bathroom without assistance and was spending her days in uncontrolled/SEVERE pain. The "sore" on her hip was getting larger by the days and had become infected.
February 2011, Mom was admitted to in hospital, Hospice care. Mike and I were losing Mom. Mom remained a sweet spirited lady for the 2 1/2 weeks she was in the Morris Center. On a Saturday evening ( February 19th ) Mom was forever HEALED from the grip of cancer. She went Home to her Loving, Gracious FATHER .
Now, during all this Mike and I were insanely still trying to have another baby. We decided in December 2010 that God was laying on our hearts the gift of adoption. After much prayer, we contacted an agency to pursue adoption. I was also seeking medical advice on why I was unable to conceive. When the New Year came, I met with my OB only to be told that I was pre diabetic. WOW !!! I was scared into changing my eating habits and fast. I had seen how precious life is through our experience with Mom and I was too young to be having health issues. Now, I am NOT one who can easily lose weight or stick with a weight loss plan. God gave me an overwhelming strength and in 2 months, He allowed me to lose 20 lbs reversing my diagnosis of being pre diabetic. Good news on my health !!
When Mom died, she left Mike and I with a gift. One we did not know was coming nor we would have ever believed it. I wonder did she receive a peace from God as she arranged this gift to us ? I can see her smiling and being so happy for us through her loving gift. Words will never express our gratitude for her being sensitive to the Spirit's leading through what she left for us !
Okay, you have a background now on how extreme our lives had been and now you can understand all the significance in our adoption story.
Mike and I had made plans months before Mom's health began failing, that we would spend spring break in Tennessee with my parents. We would stay for one week. The kids and I were going to remain in Tennessee and visit with my family longer and Mike would return to Jacksonville. He was planning on spending lots of one on one time with his Mom while we were away. Well, when mom died I didn't feel at peace with being away from Mike so close to our loss. I was coming back to Jacksonville also after our week in Tennessee. I needed to be with my husband. The day we would return to Jacksonville was so hard for me. I cried and wanted to remain with my parents but knew that my first priority was to my husband !! I secretly was hoping he would tell me he didn't need me and that I could stay with my parents longer.....that didn't happen and I am so thankful now that he never said those words to me. For the week we had planned for me and the kids to remain in Tennessee, was a life changing week for our family !! That life changing moment came through a simple email.
" Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails " Proverbs 19:21
I am going to hold you in suspense another day and begin on just how our lives were about to change tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
How It All Started
I guess to tell our story we have to go back to the point where our journey began.
Mike and I were married the summer of 2000. During our courtship we had discussed how many children we desired to raise. In our minds ( and plans ) 5 or 6 children would be awesome. We decided to prevent pregnancy at least until we celebrated our 1st anniversary.
Well, that plan quickly fell through because we had begun trying to conceive a few months before our 1st anniversary. Months quickly flew by and before we knew it a year had past. That year slowly turned into a second year. We came to the realization that more than being pregnant, we wanted to be parents. We prayed and felt peace that God was leading us towards adoption.
In the beginning stages of our adoption paperwork, we discovered we were indeed pregnant. Shock is an understatement !! Maybe God just wanted to see if we had enough faith to believe that He alone is the Author of families.....? At a routine appointment early in our pregnancy, it was discovered that we had suffered a miscarriage. This was such a dark time in our lives. We quickly decided that we were supposed to adopt. We met with the adoption worker that had placed my brother with my parents years before. At that first visit, we were informed about a baby boy due within a month or so. We sent our family profile and "Dear BirthMom" letter to our social worker. The birth mom liked us and picked us to adopt her infant son after delivery. The baby's due date came and went and yet we still had no word about the baby's birth. Days later, we received a phone call from our social worker that at delivery the birth mother had changed her mind. That phone call was just 6 weeks after our miscarriage. We were shattered !!!!!
The fall of 2003 turned into winter and we again received a phone call that there was a baby boy who would need a family. This situation was very different though. We actually met this birth mom and I took her to several appointments. I remember telling Mike after each visit with the birth mother, that I never felt connected and had this odd, depressed feeling often when I was with her. I also remember her smelling of cigarette smoke and alcohol. We were involved with this birth mother for several weeks when it came to our realization that she was a con artist. She had promised her unborn baby boy to us and another family in another state. This time, we called off the adoption........we were emotionally drained. In 4 months, we had suffered 3 losses :(
I remember sitting on our nursery floor crying but having this overwhelming sense of peace all at the same time. Little did we know, that as we had to make such a heart wrenching decision to call off a possible start to our growing family that God was weaving a creation inside my womb !
God had opened our womb yet again ! We were told at our first OB appointment that we would likely miscarry this baby also because of hormonal problems on my end. We were given pamphlets on repeated miscarriage. I love the way God controls life and death !! He blessed us and 9 months later ( after a high risk pregnancy ) we welcomed our first daughter into our lives. SELAH MORIAH !!!!!
We were content. If God chose to give us more children.... praise His Name but if He chose to allow Selah to be an only child.....praise His Name !!
When Selah was two years old, we discovered that God had blessed us again and we were pregnant. We had no hormonal problems and no high risk pregnancy. Just a healthy, breech, beautiful son !! MICHAEL TOBIAS !!!
When Tobias was just shy of his third birthday, we decided that another child would be a wonderful addition to our family. We began trying for another blessing. Months began to pass and I remember getting concerned but also knowing that we deal with not easily conceiving. Before we knew it, the one year marker on us trying to get pregnant was upon us. This is where things get AMAZING..........
Mike and I were married the summer of 2000. During our courtship we had discussed how many children we desired to raise. In our minds ( and plans ) 5 or 6 children would be awesome. We decided to prevent pregnancy at least until we celebrated our 1st anniversary.
Well, that plan quickly fell through because we had begun trying to conceive a few months before our 1st anniversary. Months quickly flew by and before we knew it a year had past. That year slowly turned into a second year. We came to the realization that more than being pregnant, we wanted to be parents. We prayed and felt peace that God was leading us towards adoption.
In the beginning stages of our adoption paperwork, we discovered we were indeed pregnant. Shock is an understatement !! Maybe God just wanted to see if we had enough faith to believe that He alone is the Author of families.....? At a routine appointment early in our pregnancy, it was discovered that we had suffered a miscarriage. This was such a dark time in our lives. We quickly decided that we were supposed to adopt. We met with the adoption worker that had placed my brother with my parents years before. At that first visit, we were informed about a baby boy due within a month or so. We sent our family profile and "Dear BirthMom" letter to our social worker. The birth mom liked us and picked us to adopt her infant son after delivery. The baby's due date came and went and yet we still had no word about the baby's birth. Days later, we received a phone call from our social worker that at delivery the birth mother had changed her mind. That phone call was just 6 weeks after our miscarriage. We were shattered !!!!!
The fall of 2003 turned into winter and we again received a phone call that there was a baby boy who would need a family. This situation was very different though. We actually met this birth mom and I took her to several appointments. I remember telling Mike after each visit with the birth mother, that I never felt connected and had this odd, depressed feeling often when I was with her. I also remember her smelling of cigarette smoke and alcohol. We were involved with this birth mother for several weeks when it came to our realization that she was a con artist. She had promised her unborn baby boy to us and another family in another state. This time, we called off the adoption........we were emotionally drained. In 4 months, we had suffered 3 losses :(
I remember sitting on our nursery floor crying but having this overwhelming sense of peace all at the same time. Little did we know, that as we had to make such a heart wrenching decision to call off a possible start to our growing family that God was weaving a creation inside my womb !
God had opened our womb yet again ! We were told at our first OB appointment that we would likely miscarry this baby also because of hormonal problems on my end. We were given pamphlets on repeated miscarriage. I love the way God controls life and death !! He blessed us and 9 months later ( after a high risk pregnancy ) we welcomed our first daughter into our lives. SELAH MORIAH !!!!!
We were content. If God chose to give us more children.... praise His Name but if He chose to allow Selah to be an only child.....praise His Name !!
When Selah was two years old, we discovered that God had blessed us again and we were pregnant. We had no hormonal problems and no high risk pregnancy. Just a healthy, breech, beautiful son !! MICHAEL TOBIAS !!!
When Tobias was just shy of his third birthday, we decided that another child would be a wonderful addition to our family. We began trying for another blessing. Months began to pass and I remember getting concerned but also knowing that we deal with not easily conceiving. Before we knew it, the one year marker on us trying to get pregnant was upon us. This is where things get AMAZING..........
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